THE MURRAY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS REUNION OF 1958

Every ten years, as summertime nears,
An announcement arrives in the mail,
A reunion is planned; it'll be really grand;
Make plans to attend without fail.

I'll never forget the first time we met;
We tried so hard to impress.
We drove fancy cars, smoked big cigars,
And wore our most elegant dress.

It was quite an affair; the whole class was there.
It was held at a fancy hotel.
We wined, and we dined, and we acted refined,
And everyone thought it was swell.

The men all conversed about who had been first
To achieve great fortune and fame.
Meanwhile, their spouses described their fine houses
And how beautiful their children became.

The homecoming queen, who once had been lean,
Now weighed in at one-ninety-six.
The jocks who were there had all lost their hair,
And the cheerleaders could no longer do kicks.

No one had heard about the class nerd
Who'd guided a spacecraft to the moon;
Or poor little Jane, who's always been plain;
She married a shipping tycoon.

The boy we'd decreed "most apt to succeed"
Was serving ten years in the pen,
While the one voted "least" now was a priest;
Just shows you can be wrong now and then.

They awarded a prize to one of the guys
Who seemed to have aged the least.
Another was given to the grad who had driven
The farthest to attend the feast.

They took a class picture, a curious mixture
Of beehives, crew cuts and wide ties.
Tall, short, or skinny, the style was the mini;
You never saw so many thighs.

At our next get-together, no one cared whether
They impressed their classmates or not.
The mood was informal, a whole lot more normal;
By this time we'd all gone to pot.

It was held out-of-doors, at the lake shores;
We ate hamburgers, coleslaw, and beans.
Then most of us lay around in the shade,
In our comfortable T-shirts and jeans.

By the fortieth year, it was abundantly clear,
We were definitely over the hill.
Those who weren't dead had to crawl out of bed,
And be home in time for their pill.

And now I can't wait; they've set the date;
Our fiftieth is coming, I'm told.
It should be a ball, they've rented a hall
At the Shady Rest Home for the old.

Repairs have been made on my hearing aid;
My pacemaker's been turned up on high.
My wheelchair is oiled, and my teeth have been boiled;
And I've bought a new wig and glass eye.

I'm feeling quite hearty, and I'm ready to party
And I'm gonna mingle 'til dawn's early light.
It'll be lots of fun; But I just hope that there's one
Other person who can make it that night.

Author Unknown

"I'll Be Glad When You're Dead, You Rascal You"

Words and Music by Sam Theard - 1931

I'll be glad when you dead, you rascal, you! I'll be glad when you dead, you rascal, you! When you dead in your grave, No more women will you crave. I'll be glad when you dead, you rascal, you! I trust you in my home, you rascal, you. I trust you in my home, you rascal, you. I trust you in my home, You wouldn't leave my wife alone. I'll be glad when you dead, you rascal, you! I fed you since last fall, you rascal, you. I fed you since last fall, you rascal, you. I fed you since last fall, Then you got your ashes hauled. I'll be glad when you dead, you rascal, you! You asked my wife to wash your clothes, you rascal, you. You asked my wife to wash your clothes, you rascal, you. You asked my wife to wash your clothes And something else I suppose. I'll be glad when you dead, you rascal, you! You know you done me wrong, you rascal, you. You know you done me wrong, you rascal, you. You know you done me wrong, You done stole my wife and gone. I'll be glad when you dead, you rascal, you! You asked my wife for a meal, you rascal, you! You asked my wife for a meal, you rascal, you! You asked my wife for a meal, And something else you tried to steal. I'll be glad when you dead, you rascal, you! Please don't me find you, rascal, you. Please don't let me find you, rascal, you! Please don't let me find you 'Cause you'll leave this world behind you. I'll be glad when you dead, you rascal, you! Ain't no use to run, you rascal, you. Ain't no use to run, you rascal, you. Ain't no use to run, I done bought a Gatling gun, And you still having your fun, you rascal, you! I'm gonna kill you just for fun, you rascal, you! I'm gonna kill you just for fun, you rascal, you! I'm gonna kill you just for fun; The buzzards gonna have you when I'm done. I'll be glad when you dead, you rascal, you! You done messed with my wife, you rascal, you! You done messed with my wife, you rascal, you! You done messed with my wife, And I'm gonna take your life. I'll be glad when you dead, you rascal, you!

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