The Alphabet Love Song
Your Last Alphabet
A
is for Apple, and B is for Boat,
That
used to be right, But now it won't float!
Age
before Beauty is what we once said,
But
let's be a bit more realistic instead.
*
Now
A's for arthritis;
B's
the bad back,
C
is the chest pains, perhaps cardiac?
D
is for dental decay and decline,
E
is for eyesight, can't read that top line!
F
is for fissures and fluid retention,
G
is for gas which I'd rather not mention.
H
is high blood pressure-I'd rather it be low;
I
for incisions with scars you can show.
J
is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,
K
is for knees that crack when they bend.
L
for libido, what happened to sex?
M
is for memory, I forget ! what comes next
N
is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O
is for osteo, the bones that don't grow!
P
for prescription's, I have quite a few, just
give
me a pill and I'll be good as new!
Q
is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R
for reflux, one meal turns to two.
S
for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
T
for Tinnitus; there're bells in my ears!
U
is for urinary; big troubles with flow;
V
is for vertigo, that's "dizzy," you know.
W
is for worry, NOW what's going 'round?
X
is for X ray, and what might be found.
Y
is another year I'm left here behind,
Z
is for zest that I still have-- in my mind.
*
I've
survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed,
And
I am keeping twenty-six 'doctors' fully employed!!!
A, You're Adorable
(The Alphabet Love Song)
When Johnny Jones was serenading Mary,
He sure could quote a lot of poetry
But he'd much rather tell her
what he learned in his speller
When they both attended PS thirty-three....
(chorus)
"A," you're adorable, "B," you're so beautiful,
"C," you're a cutie full of charms.
"D," you're a darling and "E," you're exciting
And "F," you're a feather in my arms.
"G," you look good to me, "H," you're so heavenly,
"I," you're the one I idolize.
"J," we're like Jack and Jill, "K," you're so kissable,
"L," is the lovelight in your eyes.
"M," "N," "O," "P," I could go on all day.
"Q," "R," "S," "T," alphabetically speaking, you're OK.
U," made my life complete, "V," means you're very sweet,
Double-"U" "X" "Y" "Zee."
It's fun to wander through the alphabet with you
To tell you what you mean to me.
(repeat the chorus)