Animal Magnetism

Some people seemed to be blessed (or cursed) with
animal magnetism. I happen to be one of those people.
You know, the kind of person that animals are
attracted to. If there is a lost or stray
 critter anywhere in my neighborhood, he will invariably 
find his way to my door. I don't understand why I have
"animal magnetism" but I guess it's for a reason.
It's a tough job, but someone has to do it!

Life Lessons Learned From A Dog

If you stare at someone long enough, 
eventually you'll get what you want.

Don't go out without an ID, 
if you get lost your person will cry.

Be direct with people, let them know exactly
how you feel by urinating on their shoe.

Leave room in your schedule for a good nap.

Always give people a friendly greeting.

Never get caught with your head in the toilet.

When you do something wrong, always take responsibility,
 (as soon as you are dragged out from under the bed)

If it's not wet and sloppy, it's not a real kiss.

Always hit the paper.

good boy!

Always pretend to love the cat!

"I love that cat!"

Creation

When God made the earth and sky,
 the flowers and the trees,
He then made all the animals,
 the fish, the birds, the bees.
And when at last He'd finished, 
not one was quite the same.
He said I'll walk this world of mine
 and give each one a name.
And so he traveled far and wide
 and everywhere he went,
A little creature followed him 
until its strength was spent.
When all were named upon the earth 
and in the sky and sea,
The little creature said, "Dear Lord,
there's no name left for me!"
Kindly the Father said to him,
 "I've left you to the end,
I've turned my own name back to front 
and called you Dog, my friend."

"Ja-Da" (1918)
(Ja Da, Ja Da, Jing Jing Jing!)
Words and Music by Bob Carleton, U.S.N.R.F.
[aka Robert Louis Carleton (1894 or 1896 to 1956)]

New York: Leo. Feist Inc., Feist Building
London: Herman Darewski Publishing Co.
[Source: facsimiles on pages 59-61 from
"A Pretty Girl Is Like a Melody and Other Favorite
Song Hits, 1918-1919"
Edited by David A. Jasen
(New York: Dover Pub., Inc., 1997)]

1. You’ve heard all about your raggy melodies,
Ev’ry thing from opera down to harmony,
But I’ve a little song that I will sing to you,
It’s going to win you thru and thru.
There ain’t much to the words but the music is grand,
And you’ll be singing it to best the band.
Now you’ve heard of your “Will O’The Wisp,”
But give a little listen to this:
It goes

CHORUS [sung twice after each VERSE]
Ja Da,
Ja Da,
Ja Da Ja Da Jing, Jing, Jing,
Ja Da,
Ja Da,
Ja Da Ja Da Jing, Jing, Jing,
That’s a funny little bit of melody
It’s so soothing and appealing to me,
It goes
Ja Da,
Ja Da,
Ja Da Ja Da Jing, Jing, Jing,

2. Now ev’ry one was singing a Hawaiian strain,
Ev’ry one seem’d to have it on their brain,
When Yaka Hicky Hoola Do was all the craze,
Why that’s the one that had them dazed.
The object now is far something new,
Something that will appeal to you,
And here’s a little melody that your will find,
Will linger, linger there in your mind:
It goes