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Barney Google

Words by Billy Rose and Music by Con Conrad

Copyright 1923/1949 Whitney Warner

Verse 1: Who's the most important man this country ever knew?

Who's the man our Presidents tell all their troubles to?

No, it isn't Mister Bryan, and it isn't Mister Hughes;

I'm mighty proud that I'm allowed a chance to introduce:

Chorus 1: Barney Google, with his Goo Goo Googly eyes.

Barney Google had a wife three times his size.

She sued Barney for divorce, Now he's sleeping with his horse!

Barney Google, with his Goo Goo Googly eyes.

Verse 2: Who's the greatest lover that this country ever knew?

Who's the man that Valentino takes his hat off to?

No, it isn't Douglas Fairbanks that the ladies rave about;

When he arrives who makes the wives chase all their husbands out?

Chorus 2: Barney Google, with his Goo Goo Googly eyes.

Barney Google bet his horse would win the prize.

When the horses ran that day, Spark Plug ran the other way!

Barney Google, with his Goo Goo Googly eyes.

Chorus 3: Barney Google, with his Goo Goo Googly eyes.

Barney Google bet his horse would win the prize.

He got odds of five to eight, Spark Plug came in three days late!

Barney Google, with his Goo Goo Googly eyes.

Chorus 4: Barney Google, with his Goo Goo Googly eyes.

Barney Google has a girl that loves the guys.

Only friends can get a squeeze. That girl has no enemies!

Barney Google, with his Goo Goo Googly eyes.

Chorus 5: Barney Google, with his Goo Goo Googly eyes.

Barney Google is the luckiest of guys.

If he fell into the mud, he'd come up with a diamond stud!

Barney Google, with his Goo Goo Googly eyes.

Chorus 6: Barney Google, with his Goo Goo Googly eyes.

Barney Google bet his horse would win the prize.

Spark Plug ran as fine as silk, 'till somebody hollered "Milk!"

Barney Google, with his Goo Goo Googly eyes.

Chorus 7: Barney Google, with his Goo Goo Googly eyes.

Barney Google tried to enter paradise.

When St. Peter saw his face, he said "Go to the other place!"

Barney Google, with his Goo Goo Googly eyes.

Chorus 8: Barney Google, with his Goo Goo Googly eyes.

Barney Google is a guy who never buys.

Women take him out to dine, then he cops the waiter's dime!

Barney Google, with his Goo Goo Googly eyes.

Chorus 9: Barney Google, with his Goo Goo Googly eyes.

Barney Google doesn't care for home-made pies.

When his wife begins to bake, Spark Plug gets an awful "break!"

Barney Google, with his Goo Goo Googly eyes.

Notes: When I first joined the Internet, I tried about 3 different schemes to earn money.   Fortunately, I only tried 3 that guaranteed my money back if I was not satisfied.   After 3 very unsatisfactory forays into the Internet marketplace, I decided to take inventory of what I could do that most people could not do.   With over 30 plus years in the computer business, I could program in over 26 languages and had done programming and technical writing for NASA, West Publishing Company, and the Los Angeles Times.   Since the Internet was only another series of binary on and off switches, I figured I could take advantage of the huge database that had over 2 billion URLs.   Also, what does the Internet do that books can not do?   Simple, the Internet can combine text, sound, and action/animation together on one medium.   Therefore, I could copy, modify, and create Internet books that had all 3 features.   With my wife's encouragement, I built her 4 childrens books into animated creations for sale on the Internet.   When Google offered actual cash to let them advertise on our web sites, V-R-A.org and PeteyandPetunia.com (PPP), I started incorporating Google ads on most of our creations.   The income runs a few pennies for each visit/hit to a little more if people click on the ads during each visit.   According to independent sources that monitor PPP, it has been ranked in the top 2000 web sites of the more than 2 billion web sites on the Internet.   For several years, PPP used to get about 100 visitors/week.   After 10 million visitors in 3 months at its peak, PPP averages over 1000 visitors per day.   People have noticed our traffic and have come out of the woodwork asking to advertise on PPP.   I have stayed clear of all except Google.   In comparison, Huffington averages 10 million visitors per month.   Google's YOUTUBE now gets 1 billion visitors per day.   What a trip this has been!   'Nuff said. End of Notes.


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