If We Could Talk to the Animals

      If I could talk to the animals, just imagine it …
Chatting with a chimp in chimpanzee
Imagine talking to a tiger, chatting with a cheetah
What a neat achievement it would be!

If we could talk to the animals, learn all their languages
Maybe take an animal degree
I'd study elephant and eagle, buffalo and beagle
Alligator, guinea pig and flea.

I would converse in polar bear and python
And I would curse in fluent kangaroo
If people ask me "Can you speak rhinocerous?"
I'd say "Of courserous!  Can't you?"

If I conferred with our furry friends, man to animal
Think of the amazing repartee
If I could walk with the animals, talk with the animals
Grunt and squeak and squawk with the animals …
And they could talk to me!

If I consulted with quadrupeds
Think what fun we’d have asking over crocodiles for tea!
Or maybe lunch with two or three lions, walruses and sea lions
What a lovely place the world would be.

If I spoke slang to orangutans
The advantages -- why any fool on earth could plainly see!
Discussing Eastern art and dramas with intellectual llamas
That’s a big step forward you’ll agree!



I’d learn to speak in antelope and turtle
And my Pekinese would be extremely good
If I were asked to sing in hippopotamus
I’d say “Whynotamous?” and I would!

If I could parlay with pachyderms
It’s a fairy tale worthy of Hans Anderson and Grimm
A man who walks with the animals and talks with the animals
Grunts and squeaks and squawks with the animals …