THE REDNECK
DICTIONARY
OF
MEDICAL TERMS
|
Artery................................. The study of paintings. Bacteria............................... Back door to cafeteria. Barium................................. What doctors do when patients die. Benign................................. What you be after you be eight. Cesarean Section.................. A neighborhood in Rome. CTscan................................. Searching for kitty. Cauterize.............................. Made eye contact with her. Colic..................................... A sheep dog. Coma................................... A punctuation mark. D & C................................... Where Washington is. Dilate................................... To live long. Enema................................. Not a friend. Fester.................................. Quicker than someone else. Fibula................................... A small lie. Genital................................. Non-Jewish person. G.I. Series............................ World Series of military baseball. Hangnail............................... What you hang your coat on. Impotent.............................. Distinguished, well known. Labor Pain............................ Getting hurt at work. Medical Staff......................... A Doctor's cane. Morbid.................................. A higher offer than I bid. Nitrates................................ Cheaper than day rates. Node.................................... I knew it. Outpatient............................ A person who has fainted. Pap Smear............................ A fatherhood test. Pelvis.................................... Second cousin to Elvis. Post Operative...................... A letter carrier. Recovery Room..................... Place to do upholstery. Rectum................................. Damn near killed him. Secretion.............................. Hiding something. Seizure................................. Roman emperor. Tablet.................................. A small table. Terminal Illness.................... Getting sick at the airport. Tumor................................. More than one. Urine................................... Opposite of you're out. Varicose............................... Near by/close by. |
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