We Are Siamese



Mujibar was trying to get a job in India.

The Personnel Manager said, "Mujibar, you have
passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass
it you cannot qualify for this job."

Mujibar said, "I am ready"!

The manager said, "Make a sentence using the
words Yellow, Pink and Green."


Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said,
"Mister manager, I am ready!"

The manager said, "Go ahead!"

Mujibar said, "The telephone goes green, green,
and I pink it up, and say, 'Yellow, this is Mujibar!'"

Mujibar now works as a technician at a call
center for computer problems.  No doubt you have spoken to him.

Notes: I have spent my computer career in research, original product development and technical support.   The greatest challenge is technical support due to many reasons.   There is so much that could be said about the situation depicted here thanks to all the media coverage and visa laws that have been expanded by congress.   On the positive side, I have had several good experiences with some very good Technial Support personnel in foreign lands.   Like it or not, outsourcing is firmly entrenched and the almighty dollar rules the world economy.   Therefore, I am limiting my comments to a few personal experiences that others may have experienced.   Whether, I get an Asian or Bombay Indian is dependent on the company providing Technical Support.   However, speaking English is not enough to solve the problem at hand.   An understanding of the English words is also necessary to achieve any degree of resolution.   And, by all means, let us not forget the communication skills of the customer as depicted below.   In addition, I am terribly, terribly, terribly sorry if I have stepped on anyone's bunions. 'Nuff said.

Tech Support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...
    ===============

Customer: Hi, this is Celine .. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech Support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech Support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No , wait a minute. I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry...
    ===============

Tech Support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
    ===============

Tech Support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech Support: Would you click on 'start' for me and....
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.
    ===============

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it.
    ===============

Customer: I have problems printing in red.
Tech Support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah......................thank you.
    ===============

Tech Support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
    ===============

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech Support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech Support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: ! OK
Tech Support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes.
Tech Support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah. that one does work.
    ===============

Tech Support: Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
    ===============

Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech Support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech Support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five dots.
    ===============

Tech Support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech Support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer.
    ===============

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
    ===============

Tech Support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first email.
Tech Support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?
    ===============

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech Support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'
    ===============

And last but not least...

Tech Support: 'Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech Support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech Support: 'P'.....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
    ===============

Song: The Siamese Cat Song
Artist: Peggy Lee

We are Siamese if you please (meow)
we are Siamese if you don't please (meow)
now we lookin over our new donned recile
if we like we stay for mabey quite a while

(whisper:) do you see that thing swimming round and round?
yesssssssss mabey we could reaching in and make it drown
if we sneak in not to fool it carefully
there will be a head for you a tail for me

(whisper continued...) Do you hear what I hear? (grrrrrr)
a baby cry
where we finding baby there are milk nearby
if we look in baby buggy there could be
plenty milk for you and also some for me

All Generations=> Index
Click here to return to Petey and Petunia home page.